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December 09, 2004
Confession-Nothing to do with Usher
That was a close one on Lost last night. I won't say any more than that for you T-voers out there.
So, my nurse tells me I'm brave this morning. I have two nurses that have been monitoring my situation and helping me with some complications. Wendy, the wound nurse told me she thought I was brave for dealing with some of the complications I have had. Especially the last couple of days and nights. I did an appliance change by myself which was very tricky and scary due to the complications I am having. I don't feel all that brave. In fact last night I was a blubbering mess feeling sorry for myself and wanting this phase of my life to be over.
I am pretty good at putting on a brave face. I've done it for years with the Ulcerative Colitis pain, I did it in the hospital when I was not being accurate with the pain level with my nurse (i'm glad the surgeon could see right through me), and I tend to do it now for my friends and even the nurse. I mean, yes, it's getting better...but there is sometimes more going on behind my smiley face than anyone knows. I can't believe I'm even writing this now, but it feels good.
On a MUCH lighter note....I am taking my first outing tonight for our work Christmas party. I am a little nervous about being away from the safety of home. I am praying that I have no complications while I am there, but will have to be prepared for it, just in case. It should be fun, though. I am bringing along a little pillow to clutch for the belly laughs during the gift exchange game. Dont want to literally split a gut. haha. I'm really looking forward to getting to know Karen's boyfriend tonight. I hope he doesn't think I'm weird...Then again...;ok, I hope he appreciates my weirdness and is glad that we are friends. How bout that...
Posted by stacey at December 9, 2004 10:24 AM